Why Do We Fight?

We love each other. We love each other enough to share our lives and dreams and futures. We have visions of unity and fun and sex and forever yet more often than not, the reality falls far short. Most of the marriages that we know are mediocre at best, with two people co-existing in a dull partnership. Some have consistent stress of low-level conflict, perhaps expressed through sarcasm or passive-aggressive and back-handed confrontation. And some seethe with toxicity, each partner lying in wait for the other to cross the line so they can release their brand of anger or frustration.


It kind of sucks. But it is how many marriages and partnerships exist.

So we want to explore this. We want to explore it from a real perspective…not a clinical or theoretical place, but from real lives of real people.

We’ll start with an article that suggests some realms of conflict that are common to many relationships. The Guardian’s Tim Lott proposes ten common areas that couples tend to fight which you can explore here . So now it is your turn…are these areas you tend to fight with your spouse, overtly or covertly? If not, where are you struggling to find unity within your relationship?

We will weigh in next post with our stress areas. It will take a whole post. Or maybe two! BUT…that was then, and this is now. From the tattered and shattered reality of a toxic and deceitful marriage, we now wake up every day more connected and confident and grateful for each other than we ever dared to hope for. But the heaven we now live today started by facing our hells. We hope you will have the courage to join us in the process.


To your future,

Susan and Jere