Our speech, our talk, has integrity. Or it doesn’t.
How many times has your child, or your spouse, uttered a begrudging “I’m sorry” in a tone that is anything but sorry, bearing a stance of engagement and a look of disgust?
When that happens, the listener can hear the words, but immediately struggles to decode the real message. Sure…the words say something, but nothing else about the moment supports what the words say. Doubt arises in the listener and most likely, tense moments, and possible tense words, follow.
Matthew 15:18 says “…what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart.” When we speak without integrity, we really have a heart issue, yet think that between the heart and the words traveling up through our throats and exiting our mouths we can cover up the real feelings, but our tone and body language give it away. Or at least give away that there is incongruity between the words and how we feel.
There were many times that we had buried the heart issues so deeply – news flash, they can hurt – that we would insist the incongruity was on the part of the hearer, rather than us, the speaker. We were wrong.
Today, we work hard in our marriage to use integrity speak. To make it easier on each other – relieve them from having to decode or figure out what we really mean. Today our words reflect our heart, and our tone and body language match.
Before we were willing to see this, and be open to learning new things and new ways, life in our home was much more unstable at best…toxic at times. Today, it is safe and encouraging. To use integrity speak, it has meant dealing with our heart issues, learning to care enough, to receive His love with so much abundance that it spills out in our speech and is carried through our tone and our gestures. It’s not something that just happens magically…it is hard, vulnerable work that takes bravery and perseverance. Oh…but the rich reward of living in a connected, intimate relationship with each other and our God is sweet. We want this for you, too, and are willing to show you the way.
Susan and Jere